What’s wrong with the Sports Illustrated tablet demo

Ok, so, this:

Slick, right? I’ve watched this video twice, because I love reading and I love magazines and I love software demos and I love hardware demos. Full disclosure: I don’t completely love sports, so maybe there’s something I’m missing here. But all this tablet hype is reminding me of something I am almost hesitant to bring up:

CD-ROMs.

Remember CD-ROMs? I do. For about a year or so, you couldn’t buy a magazine without a CD-ROM falling out the side. Then it was DVD-ROMs, full of music videos and shareware demos and to tell the truth, I don’t think I ever even put one in the computer, because by that time there was something else out there:

The Internet.

The above video obviously represents a richer experience than can be experienced on the web right now (barring those fancy-lad, full-screen Flash sites that everyone in reality hates) but I maintain that the above product, once you finally iDownloaded all 860 MB off the iTime iMagazine iStore would be very boring, mainly because all those fancy photos and videos and stuff whizzing around on that tablet? They would be so old by the time they put all that together for you that you would have watched it or read about it already.

On television, and on the Internet.

Never mind that a multimedia presentation and layout as complex as the above demo is going to require an entire new generation of digital producers skilled enough to tightly integrate video, audio, print, web, fixed layout and dynamic, non-linear page layout. There are not many of those producers out there right now; the above product represents a pretty rare intersection of skills, most parts more akin to software designer than graphic designer.

So anyway. I tend to pooh-pooh ideas at first, before I eventually embrace them and via revisionist history pretend I felt positive about them the entire time. But, seriously, ‘mythical Apple tablet computer’ as white knight, print magazine savior?

We’ll see.

PSA: Please do not post hour-long videos to the web

Not that I am like Dr. Blog Von Bloggington over here but I can give out this one piece of advice with some certainty:

1. Do Not Post Hour-Long Videos To The Web.

OK, I’m ready for some questions now. You, sir?:

Q: Yes, I recently shot flipcam footage of a community council meeting I recently attended, and it’s an hour-and-a-half of unedited, shaky footage with unattractive people speaking off-camera in a nearly inaudible monotone. Should I post that to the web?

A: Great question. No. You should not. Because nobody cares and nobody will watch it. Next question!

Q: Hello, I have a two-hour long video of an acedemic talk I recently attended, should I post the entire unedited video to blip.tv, YouTube or Vimeo? So hard to choose!

A: Excellent question, I get that a lot. Actually you should not post it at all, because no one will ever watch it so you are really wasting your precious remaining time on Earth; time that could be better spent with loved ones, or even just staring into the middle distance. So, I think I have time for one last question.

Q: Can iMovie HD handle videos longer than three hours long? Or should I use Final Cut Pro? Because I have this recording of a marketing seminar we held last month that I really think people would enjoy big time.

A: It is doubtful that iMovie could handle that much footage without issue, but again, the problem there is not hard drive space or network bandwidth but instead the problem is that your video is longer than Francis Ford Coppola’s Godfather movies and infinitely less interesting. You do your viewer (completely hypothetical — I assure you, no one is watching) no service by dumping raw, unedited footage on them; ninety-nine times out of 100, aggressive editing is a kindness and demonstrates respect for your audience’s attention span and amount of free time.

I hope this helped some people out there today. If you have any questions about the advice above, please post it in the comments!

Google Money Master is a huge scam

I’ve been seeing a lot of ‘Google Money Master’ ads on various sites. You click through and you get a page explaining how you can ‘work at home’ (the American Dream, apparently) and a pitch:

Step 1: Get Google Money Master, only pay the $1.95 for shipping.

Step 2: Follow the directions on Google Money Master that basically shows you how to and set up a Google account. Then they will give you the website links to post. Start posting those links. Google tracks everything.

You heard right. It basically shows you how to and set up a Google account. There there are some fake comments at the bottom, which you can’t add to because of ‘problems with spam’ (kudos for that).

What you should do is check Google before attempting to become a Google Money Master:

  • complaintsboard.com says: “This is based out of Phillipines. It posts FAKE blogs on how people made money posting stuff on google. They initally took out $2.87 from my account and I just found out they will take out $70 something monthly. Oh and of course the 800 number stays busy so there is no way to contact them.” (and the comments agree)
  • ripoffreport.com says: “A couple of weeks later I received a phone call from a Fredricka Mills from the grant center telling me I would receive 7 free days of google money profit, and 7 free days of advance benefits plus 7/24 medical to try. In return I would receive a gas card and $1,000.00 in grocery vouchers. I told her no thank you I only wanted the grant cd and had not signed up for anything else. She then informed me that I would be charged $39.95 per month to be a member. Well it sure did not say anything about that either when I ordered the grant cd … I thought it was all over until I got this package of membership cards etc. for this advance benefits plus 7/24 medical emergency stuff. I called the grant place back and they told me they were a third party (which is bull) and gave me a phone number to call. In the meantime my credit card was charged $29.95 …”

Long story short, don’t fall for it.

Also of interest the same leaderboard ad shills for a fake Rachael Ray blog at rachelrayblogs.com:

We know we spelt her name wrong, but it’s too late! Did you know most people who search Google actually type the wrong spelling in?

…you don’t say.

NOTE: “Google Money Master” is now “Google Home Income” but it still continues to be a HUGE SCAM.

~Jeff

SEO joke, SEO, joke, search engine optimized joke, funny, funny joke


So a CEO, a web programmer and an SEO expert are on a desert island.

And the SEO expert says, “You guys, I’m so thirsty. Is there anything to drink?”

And the CEO says, “I just drank the last of my water 30 minutes ago.”

And the web programmer says, “I have plenty of water, a true abundance, but I won’t give any to you. Because, you are the worst. I hate you with every fiber of my being. Your very existence is an inherent refutation of the basic concept of quality workmanship and craft. Every additional second you remain on this planet is a deep, personal offense to me.”

Then the SEO expert died slowly and painfully of thirst, and over the next several days his body slumped, shriveled and shrank as his organs collapsed upon themselves with a hissing sound while the CEO and web programmer sat and stared. And the sun set, and rose, and set again.

THE END

How The Airport Express Works


So if I have this right, my Airport Express/iTunes combo:

  • Takes a compressed music file from iTunes and converts whatever music file format that is into Apple Lossless.
  • iTunes then discovers and connects via Bonjour mDNS autodiscovery to the IP address of the wireless router.
  • iTunes streams that Apple Lossless file from the client machine to the wireless router over 802.11n via some proprietary protocol (but presumably some form of UDP traffic).
  • The Airport Express takes those 1s and 0s and turns the Apple Lossless file back into music.
  • That music is sent as bursts of light via fiber optic cable to my stereo.
  • Those bursts of light are reassembled by the stereo and sent to the amplifier, which fluctuates between a positive charge and a negative charge on the red wire and vibrates the speaker cone.
  • The speaker cone vibrations move the air and those vibrations are recieved by the cochlea in my inner ear.
  • Those signals received by the cochlea then are translated into bio-electric signals which are transmitted to my brain and interpreted as music.

And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.

~Jeff

Man, I Love the Internet (Part 3 in a series)

AIG dude

So, a dude at AIG refuses to give back is $700,000 bonus and says that he’s going to give it all to “charity” (read: Heritage Foundation, Project for a New American Century, and the Republican Party).

Please note these perfectly preserved leavings of a specimen of Homo Perapluo Internetica:

I wish that all you execuative haters would get what you want. Maybe it would be a real lesson if all the top execuatives quit. This country would stop cold and they could buy up all your assets for a loaf of bread because you couldn’e even feed yourself without these 1% or less running things the rest of the country would fail quickly. Stop the class warefare and go do someting to improve you lot in life. If you’r not happy keep it to yourself. Right now we don’t need negative small minded people wipped into a frenzy by crooked lazy politicians. We need real leaders of industry to solve our problems!!!!

Evoloopr


Evoloopr (iTMS link) is a new iPhone/iPod Touch app by ldopa’s own Jon Klein. It’s a generative music app that creates eight loops and allows the listener to ‘mate’ two of the loops to create eight new offspring loops. Also, it’s got a single muted electric guitar note by yours truly that people are already calling ‘perhaps the greatest single-note guitar sample ever,’ or at least I think that people will be saying that in the iTunes Music Store comments soon, wink, wink.

Anyhow, check it out. Just to sweeten the deal, Jon Klein informs me that if you buy the Evoloopr application, and if you then meet him in a bar and show him the application running on your phone or iPod Touch, he will reimburse your purchase price by buying you the chilled beverage of your choice*.

* Offer only good for one (1) copy of Evoloopr per customer. Void where prohibited. Offer not good in Tennessee because Jon Klein refuses to visit Tennessee.