Archive for the 'Politics' Category

lern 2 spel Glen, u dumazz

August 29th, 2009

LOL @ Glenn Beck you guys:

I literally don’t understand how this got to air.

The most beautiful human moment of my life

June 4th, 2009

What I love about this is how human it is. The tank commander doesn’t want to just run this guy over. Don’t think of it as a man facing down a machine. Think of it as a very brave, very scared man facing a very scared kid inside a machine. That kid is making a very hard moral choice and, at least for the moment, making the best human one.

We don’t know how many people died that summer, but this man, just coming home with his groceries, stopped it from being more.

Rush Limbaugh Balks When He Gets What He Wanted, and Finally Some Democrats Figure Out Media

March 3rd, 2009

My hope is that the Democratic Party will use its newfound media savvy for good and not for evil.

See, they know that Rush Limbaugh is a political clown. He throws dogshit from the peanut gallery where he knows he has no responsibility, where his hypocricy is irrelevant. The Republican party, having made him an honorary member of Congress, having invited him to the White House for dinner, sees him as a rabble rouser, part of their propaganda arm but not, of course, a real politician.

But now the Obama administration is saying that Rush represents the true Republican party. The drug abuser and accuser, the racist and callow slinger of words designed to foment division between Americans, the runner up to Ann Coulter, pay attention to him. Because if you don’t agree with Rush (and not many actually do), then you’re not a real Republican.

It would be a vicious tactic, a part of a larger divide-and-conquer strategy that is being enacted on the Republicans now that they’re down, but for the fact that it’s everything they’ve ever wanted. He wanted that position. They kept giving it to him. Now they look like assholes and are backpedaling furiously to distance themselves from him.

Conservatism has proven itself to be poison and he’s standing there, trying to look innocent while trying to hide his skull and crossbones label. All the Obama administration has done is point to the label.

I Ain’t Your B!$(#, M*)#%&! Buy Your Own Damn Fries.

February 17th, 2009

barack-obama

OK. Here‘s for you. And you, and you. From April Winchell, bless her little heart.

Our President swearing a blue streak.

Technically, he’s reading someone else’s swearing from his autobiography, but don’t worry, we can decontexualize it in 4 seconds flat. Perhaps the most shocking is hearing him say “ain’t”– I’d say that’s the word he seems most uncomfortable with. I can’t wait to hear this remixed into 1/3 of all new YouTube videos for the next 7 months. IT WILL NOT GET OLD.

That’s balls.

November 29th, 2008

I just heard about this event. Apparently, someone stood up and shouted, “Tyrant! You are a tyrant!” at Attorney General Robert Mukasey while he was giving a speech last week. Mukasey fainted a little bit later into his speech.

It turns out that the guy who yelled it was a judge. That’s awesome.

George W. Bush’s horrible e-mail secret, revealed

November 16th, 2008


From the New York Times article about Obama having to surrender his Blackberry1:

Three days before his first inauguration, George W. Bush sent a message to 42 friends and relatives that explained his predicament.

“Since I do not want my private conversations looked at by those out to embarrass, the only course of action is not to correspond in cyberspace,” Mr. Bush wrote from his old address, G94B@aol.com. “This saddens me. I have enjoyed conversing with each of you.”

LOLOLOL He’s got mail LOLOLOL

1 This is idiotic, by the way. Concerns about security? All devices like that have remote wipe. Presidential Records Act? How hard is it to back up email — sure, the current administration couldn’t do it, but apparently they had enough trouble with the internet that they had to go with AOL. But whatever, the dude in chief should have an iPhone anyhow.

I’m very proud of you, America

November 5th, 2008
I Voted.

You did it right.

Obama kicks ass on Letterman

September 13th, 2008

Smart, funny, and serious, and he switches gears between the three seamlessly and with grace — the guy’s a pro. The question in my mind is not “Does Barack Obama deserve to be the next American President” but instead “Does America deserve Barack Obama as President?”

Honestly, probably not.

John McCain gets destroyed on ‘The View’

September 13th, 2008

I mean, the fuckin’ View.

Wow, Sarah Palin is the quite the idiot

September 13th, 2008

Interesting to note that the wikipedia has already been altered to make Palin’s odd non-reply seem less moronic.

See my couch

August 30th, 2008


See my couch! See my couch! It’s a real polar pouch!
See my office? Kind of drab! Until you liven up with crab!

(Photo ganked from here)

it sickens me to look at rudy giuliani

January 6th, 2008


This guy is the worst. His special brand of jingoistic, fear-based pandering will earn him a special place in hell. If he could get out a single goddamn sentence without invoking 9/11, I would up and faint with shock. He’s outright repugnant, and I’d actually rather we elect, oh, why not a donkey wearing a diaper than give this horrible crust of a man any more attention than he’s already been given.

In closing, if Rudy Giuliani loves 9/11 so much, why doesn’t he marry 9/11. Then he could cheat on it.

~Jeff

romney strapped a dog to his car roof

January 6th, 2008


No, but seriously, Mitt Romney once strapped his poor dog to the fucking roof of his car, and drove for 12 hours, and the dog was so terribly, gut-wrenchingly afraid that it pooped itself the whole time, and Mitt Romney thought that was a super-duper, a-ok thing to do.

I wouldn’t put a guy like that in charge of a car wash drive-thru, never mind an ideologically divided country teetering on the edge of complete social collapse. Why are we even pretending this douche is a viable candidate?

~Jeff

fuck ron paul

January 6th, 2008


As Fake Steve points out, Ron Paul is a pretty decent candidate, except for his freakin’ crazy nut-job radical pro-life anti-abortion stance, or as FSJ says so eloquently, “you gotta lets the ladies control their lady parts.” Seriously, this is a show-stopper, a deal-breaker, game over right there, and I don’t understand for the life of me how Ron Paul’s incredibly vocal supposedly progressive core constituency of 23-year-old male Internet addicts can overlook this honkingly awful and horribly antiquated area of his platform.

Seriously, it’s 2008 — even the most hard core pro-life zealot would have to agree that this country already had this conversation, and there are other important conversations we desperately need to have. Let’s move on to the more pressing matters at hand.

~Jeff

have a very huckabee xmas

January 4th, 2008


Man, this guy sucks — only slightly less than Mitt or Rudy.

Gobama!

~Jeff