l-dopa

So Neil Young’s new album is an old-school protest album. Good for him — but too bad he was so damn into the Patriot Act a couple years ago:

People for the American Way… gave Neil Young its Spirit of Liberty award at a December 11 Beverly Hills banquet. Young used the occasion to proclaim his support of the USA/Patriot Act, which became law on October 26. “To protect our freedoms,” Young said, “it seems we’re going to have to relinquish some of our freedoms for a short period of time.”

…which pains me to point out, because I’ve always really liked Neil Young. The first “big concert” I ever went to was a Social Distortion/Sonic Youth/Neil Young triple bill at the now-rubble Hartford Civic Center in scenic Hartford, CT. They all rocked.

~jeff

How damn awesome is the Audi A3? Apparently, “32 MB awesome”, so Audi will send you a free 32 MB USB drive just for filling out a form. Sadly, it looks like 32 MB is too small to make into a linux boot drive, but you could run Portable Firefox off of it.

~jeff

…except this one makes more sense (PDF). I feel like chicken tonight, chicken tonight!

~jeff

Well, call me a silly falang, because this clueless gweilo can’t understand his own smelling-like-a-wet-dog-white-sister’s complaint:

I find it very rude when I go into a nail salon and all the Chinese workers start speaking to each other in Chinese. If you come to our country, shouldn’t you be learning our language?

—Rhea, 22, white, Albany, NY

Funny thing is, when posed honestly (and not for rhetorical effect), Rhea’s question — and others like it — are really important to ask. And answer. Laurels to The National Forum On People’s Differences for creating a rather flame-free venue for cross-cultural exchange.

Well, Rhea, after realizing the woman massaging your foot is Vietnamese and not Chinese, maybe you could meditate on the apparent lack of an official pejorative for outsiders in Vietnamese. And then consider that, as has been said, Koľko rečí vieš, toľkokrát si človekom*. Sure, you can get by just fine with your monolingualism, but why settle for that? There is such a large menu of new languages for you to choose from… And the extra great thing about learning new languages? They almost all come with a tasty side of new cuisine! So go get you some pho, and chew this lesson over.
____

*For our non-Slovak speaking friends: “The number of languages you know is the number of times you are human.”

Happy birthday, Jeff.

On Tuesday, I performed a revolutionary act.

I clicked on Start, hovered on Programs, and then I did the unthinkable. I dragged and dropped the entire Games folder into the Recycle Bin. Then I right clicked, emptied the Recycle Bin, and said goodbye to the horrible affliction of Spider Solitare addiction.

I have been 5000% more productive and 2.7 times happier over the last two days.

As a service to our readers, and because I’m a huge fan of the “General” category tag, I would like to share the technique I just made up* and beta-tested for an enjoyable vendor show experience.This is how you do a vendor show:

• travel no more than 10 minutes to be there.

• allot only 10 minutes for the whole trade show.

• find the booth with the tote bag and take that first.

• tour the room very quickly. Eat the food you find. Focus especially on water, fruit, and cake, i.e. anything that isn’t just pure sugar. If you are too shy to grab the pretzels because they’re at a booth with a guy you don’t want to talk to, forgive yourself and move on.

• pick up cards for people you should talk to but don’t want to. Pick up pens, too. Don’t take anything mildly useless, like small non-regulation frisbees, keychains, etc.

• speak to anyone you’ve already been meaning to speak to for your own purposes. Make sure they know you’re a purchaser, and ask them only the pointed questions you need answers to. Ignore anyone else.

• leave without a shred of guilt while licking your lips.

That was fun!

*Technique may not work under any other circumstances, for example, a non-tiny vendor show not held at your place of work.

Well, ldopa, it’s like this:

I’ve been spending a reasonable hunk of my free time going to statistics class in a wild and crazy, yet stultifyingly slow, effort to get my life and career on a more satisfying track. So instead of thinking about:

I’ve been thinking about:

And instead of not driving the car into nice veterans’ trucks, apparently I’m instead looking out the window at interesting buildings at inopportune moments.

So, ldopa, I have not been as correspondant-y as I really should. If something exciting happens in May, you’ll be hearing from me. Until then, I’m sorry to say, you might have to tolerate crap* like this. And hopefully no more catastrophes involving thousands of dollars of damage to my car.

On the up side, the problems I’ve been having coding html into my posts seem neither equipment-, nor browser-related, so once that’s all worked out I’ll be free to post from work during breaks**. And there’s a few hopefully at least mildly non-crappy posts in the works now. I guess, for the next two months, I’m the movie-Storm, not the comic-Storm. If you need to start your grill snazzily, or get someone defenistrated by the wind, you can still count on me.

* though I reserve the right not to post crap.
** No, really. During breaks.

New TV show/video podcast pitch for HNN, or The Hobo News Network:

On the Hobo News Network, local and national news is read outside by real, live hobos. Most times the hobos will be filmed on the train tracks, but sometimes they will be downtown Northampton, MA hobos. The hobos will also cover food, “spirits”, bindle reviews, and recycling news. Every week the viewer will learn a cool new “hobo symbol” — also, weather, because really, who knows more about weather than hobos. As ldopa.net’s own Jon Klein notes, “It’s the thinking man’s bumfights.com!”**

Best idea ever — or BEST IDEA EVER, right? Who’s in?

~jeff

* This incredibly great idea comes straight from an encounter with a hobo while on my lunch break today. He assured me “IT IS NOT GONNA SNOW!” today. It turns out that this hobo was not 100% correct, or even 1% correct, but I think with a better writing staff, the Hobo News Network would overall be much more accurate.

I love these things* — ultra-portable, ultra-indelible.

That is all.

* keep out of reach of children.

link.

Some years ago I either purchased a gift for Jeff, or I played a prank on him. It was too long ago, or I’m too high, to remember, but either way, my actions culminated in the consumption of a can of Tab, by both Jeff and Evan. Neither one fared well, if memory serves. . . something about stomach aches, crawling skin, and a permanent and far reaching apathy, which I’ve heard continues to afflict each even to this very day. So it was with glee that I received news that biochemical engineers and chemists have finally set aside their age old rivalry, and come together to gift us with the cure for lethargy and listlissness. One that’s pink and low calorie to boot! New! Tab Energy Drink.

Sadly, it would appear that not every state in this fine country has been blessed by the budding good will between those great men in lab coats, and, um, those other great men in lab coats, as this holy grail of energy has, as of yet, only been sighted on the hallowed shelves of Stop&Shop in the 203.

Or is it the 860?

~S

If Cauley were to be an X-Men character, he would obviously be Acidroid.

In case any of you are wondering, if I were an X-Man I’d be Captain Boomerang.

As every L-Dopan knows, I love Blondie. So I was really disappointed when I found Blondie.com.

Now, what would possess someone to make a website like that? How could anyone possibly think that this could be OK in any way? I’m convinced that this website is the reason the Geneva Convention is being ignored by the US Government. Can you imagine anything worse?