It’s happened again:
Amazon Google Facebook Apple Walgreens

has
homeschooled defenestrated pirate-raped provided affordable health care to

the
mobile web Christmas retailers cable providers mommy-bloggers

because after seeing a private presentation, we couldn’t be more certain that they have just dropped
innumerable atom bombs old-school hip-hop beats a tasteful dollop of mayo

all over the
slowly emerging bald spot left side forehead and right eye well-groomed rear flanks

of their competition with the upcoming announcement of their secret
mobile photo social music coupon sharing sharing social photo music mobile coupon coupon mobile social sharing music photo

service. Industry insiders familiar with the product suggest that none other than
Jeff Bezos Jeff Bridges Mark Zuckerberg’s aunt Mexican-equivalent Stevé Jobsbergo

personally oversaw the development and creation of the revolutionary new product, and is rumored to unveil the new product live on stage during the upcoming
TrunkCrunch CrunchFlap M. Arrington’s Hot N’ Spicy Backyard BBQ Chili-Cookoff

conference. Reaction to the upcoming announcement from around the TechCrunch offices has been
breathlessly hyperbolic hyperbolically breathless

with one TechCrunch staffer quoted as saying,
“Your move, Yahoo Pipes!” “Booyah! Take that, smelly redditors!” “Bladow, bitches! I’m not going to pay a lot for that e-muffler!” “Is there any more cocaine or did we do all the cocaine?”