Archive for November, 2009

If only I had some bananas on my lap right now

November 24th, 2009

PSA: Please do not post hour-long videos to the web

November 14th, 2009

Not that I am like Dr. Blog Von Bloggington over here but I can give out this one piece of advice with some certainty:

1. Do Not Post Hour-Long Videos To The Web.

OK, I’m ready for some questions now. You, sir?:

Q: Yes, I recently shot flipcam footage of a community council meeting I recently attended, and it’s an hour-and-a-half of unedited, shaky footage with unattractive people speaking off-camera in a nearly inaudible monotone. Should I post that to the web?

A: Great question. No. You should not. Because nobody cares and nobody will watch it. Next question!

Q: Hello, I have a two-hour long video of an acedemic talk I recently attended, should I post the entire unedited video to blip.tv, YouTube or Vimeo? So hard to choose!

A: Excellent question, I get that a lot. Actually you should not post it at all, because no one will ever watch it so you are really wasting your precious remaining time on Earth; time that could be better spent with loved ones, or even just staring into the middle distance. So, I think I have time for one last question.

Q: Can iMovie HD handle videos longer than three hours long? Or should I use Final Cut Pro? Because I have this recording of a marketing seminar we held last month that I really think people would enjoy big time.

A: It is doubtful that iMovie could handle that much footage without issue, but again, the problem there is not hard drive space or network bandwidth but instead the problem is that your video is longer than Francis Ford Coppola’s Godfather movies and infinitely less interesting. You do your viewer (completely hypothetical — I assure you, no one is watching) no service by dumping raw, unedited footage on them; ninety-nine times out of 100, aggressive editing is a kindness and demonstrates respect for your audience’s attention span and amount of free time.

I hope this helped some people out there today. If you have any questions about the advice above, please post it in the comments!