loft
SCREEN: FADE FROM BLACK
MUSIC: dramatic string section
V/O: “The Oceanic 6… are off the island.”
FLASH: Picture of island from “Lost”
V/O: “Faced with a challenge… they never expected.”
FLASH: Downtown Soho loft apartment, exterior shot
V/O (wacky voice): “Living together, in a downtown New York apartment!”
MUSIC: “I’ll Be There For You (Theme from ‘Friends’)”
FLASH: Photoshopped cast of ‘Friends’ with faces from cast of “Lost” (Jack, Kate, Locke, Sawyer, Desmond & Ben) with title “LOFT” (all caps)
V/O: From the producers of “Lost” comes the new sitcom: “Loft”!
MUSIC: fade down, back to dramatic string section
FLASH: Back to exterior of loft apartment
V/O (deep voice): Previously, on ‘Loft’…
LOFT GANG sits on couch.
DESMOND and JACK in the kitchen.
DESMOND to JACK: Sorry, brudda, but… some one’s gonna eat your peanut butter.
JACK (holding jar of peanut butter): Great.
SFX: (laugh track)
FLASH (white)
LOFT GANG sits on couch.
KATE to SAWYER (holding pice of paper): What are these mysterious numbers?
SAWYER: Freckles… those aren’t that mysterious — those numbers are your share of the phone bill.
SFX: (laugh track)
FLASH (white)
LOCKE to JACK: Why do you find it so hard to believe!… I didn’t eat your peanut butter?!
JACK to LOCKE: Why do you find it so easy!… to eat peanut butter?!
SFX: (crowd “oooooOOOoooooh!” sound)
FLASH (white)
MUSIC: wacky sitcom entry music (ala “Bosom Buddies”):
V/O: This week, on “‘Loft”…
MUSIC: silent
LOFT GANG sits on couch.
MAN IN POLAR BEAR SUIT enters stage right and attacks KATE on couch.
KATE (close up, scared): Ahhhh!
SFX: (laugh track)
QUICK CUT AWAY
FLASH (white)
V/O: Next week on “‘Loft”…
MUSIC: “I’ll Be There For You (Theme from ‘Friends’) credits”
JACK to LOFT GANG: If you didn’t steal the rent check, and *you* didn’t steal the rent check, and *you* didn’t steal the rent check, then *who* stole the rent check?
BEN: (giggles)
LOFT GANG (in unison): Oh, BEN!
SFX: (laugh track)
V/O: Thursdays at 9 on ABC.
