ruin yourself the blood glucose way

August 11th, 2007

Ah. Twinkies.

OK, guys. So, don’t do this:

1. Go into work every day tired and rushed, having skipped breakfast and with some leftovers in a bag for an unappetizing (but nearly free!) lunch.

2. Make sure you don’t eat much, maybe a pile of crackers or something, until your blood sugar drops below your knees and you can no longer think. It will be about 2 by then.

3. Dawdle around the office unable to leave for lunch or do anything of use anymore.

4. Find something in your drawer or lunch bag that is totally inadequate and eat some of it. Feel sort of pointless and grossed out.

5. Drive home in a near stupor for one hour in your car that leaks gas. Use the last of your energy trying not to hit anyone, since you definitely couldn’t afford it.

6. Turn on the TV since you don’t have any oomph left. At like 11 muster the will to open a can of something and drink some juice.

7. Measure your waistline. Three more inches? Wow, how did that happen?

8. Notice you missed Aikido class, but be resigned since you were too tired anyway. Don’t forget to stay up late!

9. Blame the world!

This post made in celebration of my last day of work yesterday. Hooray! No more crappy diet for me! I’m going to be a student! Hey… wait.

9 Responses to “ruin yourself the blood glucose way”

  1. cauley says:

    My favorites are “Don’t forget to stay up late” and “Blame the world.” They work quite well for me.

    Also: That image you used is so much better than any of my junk-food fantasies… Some genius with bad teeth made that.

  2. Cliff says:

    What will you be studying and where?

  3. Jeff says:

    And at what time? Will you be leaving anything unlocked?

  4. Cliff says:

    Oh come on! Major & School are no where near being ‘where is your house & alarm code’… Troll.

  5. Jeff says:

    OK, fine. Carrie, just let me borrow your social security number for a while and we’ll clear this whole mess up.

  6. Cliff says:

    :) Good luck in grad school. I start an MA in Photojournalism at the Univ. of Texas this month.

  7. Carrie says:

    My Social Security number is 234– wait a minute!

    Good luck at grad school, Cliff! I myself will be pursuing the Public Policy arts. Hopefully. We’ll see how it goes.

  8. Marcel says:

    Wow! This pretty much sums up my life as it is right now.

  9. Jeff says:

    Have you ruined yourself????