ask ldopa: belts

July 15th, 2007


Dear ldopa,

How the hell do you organize belts? I have a bunch of them in my closet that leap out like deadly cobras when I open up the closet door.

~Jeff



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  • Evan

    The best way I’ve found to organize belts over the years is with a tie hanger. Now the one linked there is nothing like the one I have. You can pretty much find them at any organization store or even Target. I prefer the less bulky ones.

  • ben

    own less belts. you only need two.

  • cauley

    Wear them around your legs at all times. Problem solved!

  • Carrie

    Those bikini women that come with the belts are for holding them for you. Or alternatively you drape the belts over the trophy that came with them. Whichever.

  • Voice 0′Reason

    When I was your age, I had to share a single belt with my entire family! You damn kids today with your closets full of belts, your Fruit-Stripe-Zebra-piss soda and your dime-bag-hiding sneakers! Someone oughta take a belt to ya!

    Hey, waitaminnit…

  • cauley

    Connect the belts end to end. Roll them all up on a hose roller, dispense as needed.

    OR

    Study the Dark Arts. Turn the belts into snakes, saving your favorite belt for last. Upon the last, favorite belt, lay a charm making it a larger, more ferocious snake; it will devour the others. Invest in a large terrarium, many rodents.

    NOTE: Remember to learn the snake-to-belt charm first!

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