x-13d

May 29th, 2007


Don’t be fooled — the cryptically named, virally-marketed “X-13D” black-bag Doritos are wicked crazy exciting! if you’re wicked crazy excited by the explosive taste of: mustard.

I, myself, am not, as I feel putting mustard on my food is only one step less egregious than spitting on it. So I’m going to try and sell these suckers on eBay. One bag X-13D, barely touched. Laugh, but it’ll be this generations’ “Crystal Pepsi”.

~Jeff



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  • Kerri

    Try ‘em again. It’s not JUST mustard. It’s mustard, ketchup, pickles, cheese, and smoke-flavor — DUDE, it’s a CHEESEBURGER flavored bag of Doritos.

    If those things don’t taste like a Burger King burger, they don’t taste like anything.

  • cauley

    It’s just like you Americans to shuck your right to vote. Don’t you care what this bag of chips is marketed as? I haven’t tasted them, but my name vote will now be, “DUDE, it’s a CHEESEBURGER” Flavor Doritos, regardless.

  • Voice0Reason

    Jeff, we needs to get you some good mustard, if you equate mustard with big ol’ gobs o’ saliva. (I hardly need point out that the Nazis compared mustard to saliva. I’m jus’ sayin’!)

    I’ll take your word for it that the Doritos are nasty, though, ’cause they probably don’t use decent mustard, i.e., the kind of mustard that makes “Mrs. V0R” roll her eyes and ask herself, “What is it with my husband and all the jars of gourmet mustard?”

    Did I compare you to the Nazis yet? Um, yeah I guess so…

  • Carrie

    You know I excel at eating things you don’t like. Give them to me.

  • http://www.flickr.com/people/sidereal/ Sidereal

    I can’t tell you how excited I am about this product, due to the restrictions of my probation.

  • Voice0Reason

    “I liked Crystal Pepsi, and I like mustard.”

    Shoot, mix ‘em in a blender with some ice, and you’ve got the start of a truly revolting drink!

    “Get it, Name it, Taste it.”

    Oh, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard THAT…

  • Carrie

    I have heard a second report that these are indeed disgusting.

  • Jesse

    I bought a bag at work, mostly to see what happens. Almost everyone guesses they are “big mac” flavored. Out of the ~20 people who have tried them, all but one think they’re gross. The weird part is, most everyone goes back for more, after admitting they don’t like them. So maybe they’re crack & big mac flavored?

  • Carrie

    The ‘M’ in MSG stands for Magic.

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  • Jesse

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  • Your Taste Bud

    These Doritos do not just taste like a cheeseburger…. They taste like a Big Mac. If you disagree, buy them both and prepare to flip flop. The special sauce, pickles, the aftertaste, its all there. “I need a double-cheeseburger and hold the lettuce, don’t be frontin’ son no seeds on the bun….”