Archive for May, 2006

desire leads to suffering

Posted in Fine Literature on May 8th, 2006 by Joshua

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I’ve been asked literally two billion times, “Why L-Dopa, Joshua? Why a neurotransmitter precursor related to smooth muscle function?”

The answer has always been simple: “Two billion people,” I say, “L-Dopa is a precursor to dopamine, which is not only related to being a smooth operator,” as we here at the L-Dopa main offices deep under Witch Mountain are known, “but it is also related to the sensation of pleasure, notably when your brain laughs.”

I say this because I like to convince myself that L-Dopa is a funny thing to read, both “Ha ha” funny and “smell” funny.

But I’ve just been informed that L-Dopa is now the subject of some controversy. According to this Wikipedia article, dopamine, the product of L-Dopa, may, in fact be related to desire, rather than satisfaction.

This distresses me greatly. Not only have I misinformed over 100 billion people, but I can no longer say with confidence that “L-Dopa brings you…plllleazzure” with the same sleazy voice.

I have nothing to do but apologize to those 500 billion people for misinforming them, and hope that we will make the smooth transition from pleasing our audience to giving them a sense of lack, that they could have so much more.

In the interest furthering acceptance the new spirit of L-Dopa, I am removing from our Secret Underground Headquarters the newly installed PleasureBot 9000 and replacing it with a photograph of Rosario Dawson’s lips — behind eight inches of plexiglass with a sign that says “No kissing the picture!”. Furthermore, I have just installed a device that sautées garlic into the ventilation system while replacing all the food in the L-Dopa Secret Underground Refigerator with WOW potato chips.

coke blak

Posted in Reviews on May 7th, 2006 by Jeff

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Pros:

Cons:

~jeff

one of these days I gotta get organizized

Posted in Technology on May 5th, 2006 by Jeff


At cocktail parties, perfect strangers often remark to me: “Jeff, you’re supernaturally organized, and so handsome; I despise you, and yet at the same time, I envy you. How does one stay so perfectly put together in this fast-paced, lickety-split, attention deficit disorder world?” And I laugh, deeply, and handsomely, because they’re right; I’m almost annoyingly organized — but it’s only because I use the right tools, and lucky for you, they’re all completely free:Gmail: If you’re not using web-based email by now, your life is harder than it needs to be. The advantages of web-based email are myriad: your mail is available to send and receive from anywhere and everywhere where there’s a web browser. Also, all your mail is online and available for searching at once, which is key, because I use my email as a catch-all database of everything I need to remember, from software serial codes to random phone numbers. And there’s no need to sort and delete your mail, as most web based email providers give you at least a gigabyte of email — Google gives you 2.7 gigabytes — which is likely to be enough to hold all your email and word processing documents until you’re old and grey and we’re not using email anymore. Google’s spam filtering is top notch, the interface is a joy to use, and as an added benefit, you can make your Gmail account masquerade as any of your other email addresses, so if you want to dash off a quick email that appears as if it originated from your work address, you can easily do that.

An additional benefit to web-based email: it’s not tied to your specific internet service provider, so if you decide you want to change your internet connection from, say, Comcast to Verizon, you won’t have to send out that embarrassing mass email to tell all your friends your email address has changed. Learn more at mail.google.com; Gmail, as of right now, is invitation only, but if you’d like to check it out, email me at and I’ll send you out an invitation.

Google Calendar: Along with terrific email, Google also offers a free online calendar. It’s incredibly easy to use, and once you’ve entered your schedule into it, you can share the calendar with friends and coworkers, the calendar can automatically email reminders and SMS pages to your cell phone at a time before your events occur. Google’s calendar can even be set to mail you a daily agenda at 5 AM every day to remind you of the day’s events. Check it out at calendar.google.com.

Ta-da lists: Having a list of things to do can really help keep you on track, but storing that list on a precarious sticky note on the fridge can limit your ability to act on that list. Plus, eventually the back of the sticky note will get hairy and less sticky and you’ll lose it. It’s perhaps better to keep that list online where you can access it from anywhere, and for that I use Ta-da Lists from 37Signals. It’s a wonderful and highly-intuitive way to make and organize lists that you can access from anywhere. 37Signals also provides an excellent, more capable suite of additional products (Backpack, Basecamp, Writeboard and Campfire) which you can read about on their website: 37signals.com.

Foldershare: If you work with the “computers”, you might even have to deal with a couple different computers every day, each one with a different set of files. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could have one single, magic folder that automatically contains the same stuff on every computer you work with? You can set that up in ten minutes using a service called Foldershare. Once you set up the client program on the computers you need to access, you can use the web based interface to set up “shared folders” between any of your Macs and PCs. Once set up, all you need to do is drop files into that folder and they’ll automatically propagate to all your other machines, across your local network or across the internet. Download the software and learn more at foldershare.com.

~jeff

mac tivo hack

Posted in Technology, Television on May 4th, 2006 by Jeff

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Tivo’s support for the Mac has always been fairly dismal, a unfortunate reality mitigated only by the fact that Tivo’s support for the PC is pretty dismal too. The bad news is that Mac users are still no closer to being able to view TivoToGo (”.tivo”) files on their Macs. The good news is that with a slight hack to the new Mac tivo software, you can at least get video going the other direction, from your Mac to the Tivo. The downside is that the video has to be in MPEG-2 format — you’ve just got tons of that kicking around on your hard drive, right? — so for now, this is only for the hardcore video transcoding fans. Both of you. Perhaps slightly more useful is this nifty widget that lets you check the contents of your Tivo via Mac OS X’s Dashboard, and download the .tivo files*.

~jeff

* …which you can’t do anything on the Mac with because they are DRM encrypted — you can jump through some foolish hoops on the PC to get your .tivo files into unencrypted MPEG-2 video format, but seriously, life is too short. This just goes to show that DRM doesn’t have to be unbreakable, it just has to be a pain in the ass.

never underestimate the crackpot vote

Posted in Lunatics, Politics on May 4th, 2006 by Joshua

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It’s weird, but the crackpots seem to fall more and more on the anti-war side.

please sir, may i have some more?

Posted in Politics on May 4th, 2006 by Joshua

MORE??

The consistent misunderstanding of the very close relationship between cause and effect in our country’s government is staggering. Impeachable, you might say.

For instance, Sun Tzu figured out some 2700 years ago that it’s important to “carefully guard your line of supplies.” He knew that an army fights on his stomach. He knew that because he was a petty soldier who became the most respected general, strategist, and tactician in all of history. His experience showed him that, if you’re going to fight a war (he advises against it), make sure that you can get your troops the things they need to fight. Make sure they have food, medicine, and weapons (in that order).

Now, we all know that the Iraq war was “planned” well before any reason had been pitched to the US population. Administration members have said as much, hiding behind the argument that “it all came out pretty well, though, didn’t it? Support our troops!”

Well, let’s take stock, shall we?

Did it come out well? So far, no, it’s been a dysmal failure typical of our President’s (if that’s really what he is) executive leadership. He’s done exactly what the Left has feared and warned all along: he’s made a powerful enemy where before there was a stuffed shirt.

So let’s talk about that “support our troops” part. We know that the military there was already undersupplied in armor, both for themselves and their vehicles. That scandal’s already well-known. But now, it turns out the ill-plannedness has gone to a deeper level: they’ve broken Sun Tzu’s basic principles: they’re not feeding the troops properly. Now, this looks to me like Warwick, RI, of all places is stepping up to the plate where the fucking US won’t.

What will it take to impeach the agents of transnational corporations that have userped the power of the people of the United States?

happy may day, and we certainly hope it will not interfere with your loyalty.

Posted in Politics on May 1st, 2006 by Joshua

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In the 1880s, May Day was declared International Labor Day and is acknowledged as such everywhere in the world, except the US and Canada. Those two governments didn’t want any actual, you know, solidarity between the workers of the world. Well, finally, the US has moved to acknowledge the works of the world’s Socialists, Anarchists, and Workers: three days ago,the United States Government declared May 1 to be, and I’m not making this up, “Loyalty Day.” In case you’re wondering what the big deal is about Labor around the world, they’re the people who made it so that you get to go home after working for eight hours, you get a weekend, and your employer isn’t allowed to lock you in a factory while it burns down. And, for their troubles, were often beaten to death by police, the KKK, and mobs who mysteriously knew when a Labor activist was about to be let out of jail.

(Thanks to Ben, L-Dopa’s own Uncle Elvis, for the Loyalty Day link.)

(Edit: it turns out this bill was passed in 2003.)

i love the smell of an oiled banana hammock.

Posted in Design, Links, Music on May 1st, 2006 by Joshua

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Why didn’t the metal guys in high school realize that Metal was about the gayest thing available? Anyway, the Museum of Bad Album Covers is an extraordinary collection of not only oiled men in leather banana hammocks, but all manner of ill-advised album art. I bet you like, it, don’t you, fag? You like it, don’t you? Homo!

colbert’s “crossfire” moment

Posted in Culture, Politics on May 1st, 2006 by Jeff


I’m so pleased for Stephen Colbert; his appearance this weekend at the 2006 White House Correspondents Dinner is shaping up to be a breakthrough moment, like Jon Stewart’s appearance on Crossfire. A torrent to the entire dinner is here — Colbert’s portion is the 25 minutes at the very end — and there’s a decent “60 Minutes” profile of Colbert here (WMV format). Now where’s that “Stangers with Candy” movie?

~jeff