I’ve been asked literally two billion times, “Why L-Dopa, Joshua? Why a neurotransmitter precursor related to smooth muscle function?”
The answer has always been simple: “Two billion people,” I say, “L-Dopa is a precursor to dopamine, which is not only related to being a smooth operator,” as we here at the L-Dopa main offices deep under Witch Mountain are known, “but it is also related to the sensation of pleasure, notably when your brain laughs.”
I say this because I like to convince myself that L-Dopa is a funny thing to read, both “Ha ha” funny and “smell” funny.
But I’ve just been informed that L-Dopa is now the subject of some controversy. According to this Wikipedia article, dopamine, the product of L-Dopa, may, in fact be related to desire, rather than satisfaction.
This distresses me greatly. Not only have I misinformed over 100 billion people, but I can no longer say with confidence that “L-Dopa brings you…plllleazzure” with the same sleazy voice.
I have nothing to do but apologize to those 500 billion people for misinforming them, and hope that we will make the smooth transition from pleasing our audience to giving them a sense of lack, that they could have so much more.
In the interest furthering acceptance the new spirit of L-Dopa, I am removing from our Secret Underground Headquarters the newly installed PleasureBot 9000 and replacing it with a photograph of Rosario Dawson’s lips — behind eight inches of plexiglass with a sign that says “No kissing the picture!”. Furthermore, I have just installed a device that sautées garlic into the ventilation system while replacing all the food in the L-Dopa Secret Underground Refigerator with WOW potato chips.