where’d the air come from
April 19th, 2006
Three things I love about this video clip:
- The guy, USC Student Government Vice-President Ryan Holt — well, nobody gets into student government in college unless they have a real desire to be a career politician*.
- Which would by itself be fine, except he’s clearly a humorless douche, so now there’s permanent proof positive on the internet for all to see of what a flaming ass he is.
- It reminds me of the time my friend Evan and I blew up a dorm-room full of balloons for his girlfriend’s birthday — we were both pack-a-day smokers at the time, so blowing up hundreds of balloons via tar-lung power was a non-trivial task. She was far more appreciative of the balloons than Ryan was.
~jeff
* Does USC’s student government have any meetings where somebody doesn’t take pictures?
Hee hee. A jerk is him!
Carrie, your grammar is so bad: A jerk ARE him.
Let’s face it, this douche is going to be president someday.
…and when he is president, all balloons will be OUTLAWED! No one will have balloons at all, except a ragtag bunch of outlaws livin’ on the edge of the outer plains. And they’ll have names like:
COYOTE: A man’s man with a shadowy past. What’s his connection to the illegal balloon trade? And why does he insist the group only travel at night?
T.J.: This sexy tomboy’s got a rockin’ ‘tude, enough sass for two– and a heck of a lot of heart. What was the promise she made to Coyote’s dad before he mysteriously passed away? And why does she faint whenever she sees the color orange?
LITTLE STEVE: Little Steve (who, truth be told, is not so little) is handy with the wrenches and keeps the gang’s gear in tip-top shape. So why was this total hunk disbarred from practicing law in seventeen states? And why does he get so damned silent whenever the topic of firework safety comes up?
KRISTY VELVETS: Little is known about this mysterious transvestite except she’s way into the “Velvet Underground” and she’s totally got a dick. What’s “her” hidden agenda? And why does she sometimes smell a little like mustard?
SCAMP: This ner’do-well club kid is always getting underfoot. He idolizes Coyote but can’t seem to do anything right. Along with his mischievous robot dog CHESTER P. BARKINGTON he always manages to get the group in trouble wherever they go. Oh, Scamp, will you ever learn?
~jeff
Wow, the douchebaggery contained there rivals some of my most awful moments… and that’s saying a lot. That guy is going nowhere in life. FAST!!!!
SARGE: Ex-military veteran of the War. He doesn’t like to talk about it much, but he sweats and talks a lot in his sleep. Specialty: Explosives!
SHADOW: A man of mystery who always wears a mask to cover his horrible scars, walks with a limp, but with his ninja training, can disembowel an ox with a playing card in 2 seconds.
CARL: A wheelchair-bound, black computer specialist who provides an unthreatening minority presence. Likes Carly Simon, hence the nickname. Probably a man of mystery, too, I dunno.
NIGEL: Fond of quoting poetry and fencing, Nigel’s the team’s expert sniper, able to inflate a carnival baloon with a watergun in one of those stands from six miles away. Someone in this team is a traitor…and it might be Nigel!
CRAZY PHIL: Nominally the crew’s driver, Crazy Phil offers no palpable benefit to the team. He does crazy things that would get everyone caught, but somehow doesn’t. He knows Coyote from the early days, when the two were not so dissimilar, let me tell you. Carries a rubber chicken.
wat a loser