bear avoidance tips


As we get closer to the long-awaited Spring season, runners, hikers, and fans of the great outdoors need to be aware of the increased activity and threat as bears awaken from their long winter hibernation. Here are some helpful tips you can follow to keep dangerous exposure to our forest friends to a “bare” minimum:

  • Hang food from a high branch that will not support a bear’s weight, or will at least make the bear feel self-conscious about their weight.
  • Wrap trash and odoriferous foods well in sealed plastic bags. Use “Ziploc Bear Repellent” brand if available.
  • Remove the clothes you’ve worn while cooking, slowly. Slower. Yes.
  • Never store food in your tent, especially if camping with the notoriously untrustworthy Kirstie Alley.
  • You may have a false sense of security resultant from literature which suggests bears are mainly attracted to floppy blue donkeys, small piglets, and large bouncy tigers. This data cannot be confirmed and may no longer be accurate.
  • Keep a clean cooking area and fire pit; bears are shallow and will often judge you on appearances.

~jeff

7 thoughts on “bear avoidance tips”

  1. I think it has something to do with the “dangerous exposure” line preceding it. Bare buttocks or something? I don’t know…

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