Archive for March, 2006

no shit.

March 31st, 2006

UMD

Well, it’s official: UMD sucks.

Sony, come on. How many times do you have to do this shit? You make good things. Elegant things! Why do you have to relearn this lesson every single time?

Yes, you invented the Walkman. Yes, it was a brilliant invention on which you’ve capitalized for decades now, often innovating beautifully.

Do you really think it would have flown if you’d made up your own cassette tape and headphone plug?

Here, try this:

Use Flashmedia or even frickin’ USB thumb drives. Use fucking S-video and RCA ports. You were all excited about FireWire, even calling it iLink to make sure no one realized it would work with FireWire devices. Why don’t you just, you know, do that, but more?

This is the age of networking. Things that talk to other things. Stop trying to make it so things can only talk in your language. That just makes you, I dunno, English.

jonny married a finn

March 31st, 2006

Music Thing is asking a very, very important question: is this the worst music video ever?

Discuss. Include your work. Include counterexamples.

firefox flick

March 30th, 2006

toothbrushing.jpg

My friend Kelsey Flynn and I were bored — ok, I was bored, she probably had better things to do — and we made an animated ad for the Firefox Flicks ad contest. This uses the “Ghettoshop” rotoscoping script I’ve been working on for a while. Enjoy! (H.264 video, so QuickTime 7 required):

~jeff

damned paparazzi

March 30th, 2006

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If you do any kind of web work, you’ll eventually need to take a screenshot of a web page. And oh it’s such a freakin’ pain: load the page, command-shift-4. space bar, click the page, open the PNG in Photoshop, crop out all the browser cruft, resize the image, save for web. And don’t even get me started about doing it in Windows. There’s got to be a better way! Well, now there is: Paparazzi. Just enter the web page location and this nifty (and free!) app uses WebKit — the backend rendering technology of Safari — to save you out a screengrab. Aside from the odd choice to place the option to create a scaled thumbnail in the “Save” dialog, this is a elegant and efficient little utility that I’ll use a lot. EXTRA CREDIT: Combine with Thumbscrew for extra flair*.

~jeff

* But we don’t like to talk about our flair.

griffin iTalkPro

March 30th, 2006


Outstanding; finally a gizmo that will enable the 5G iPods to record high-quality audio — I’ve been waiting for this since the 3G iPods kind-of-sort-of-but-ultimately-din’t allow high-quality audio recording. Best bootlegging gizmo ever: thank you Griffin (pictured above)!

~jeff

chinese democracy review

March 30th, 2006


Keep in mind what time of year we’re approaching. I like Chuck Closterman’s writing a lot; also recommended is his candy-like essay compendium of a couple years back entitled “Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs“.

~jeff

lightbox 2

March 29th, 2006

Holy smokes — Lokesh does it again. I can’t wait to implement this set of scripts on missmuddypaw.com.

~jeff

little phatty is made for jeff

March 29th, 2006

lp1.jpg

Bob Moog died a few months ago while working on a project. The synth world was in a tizzy — would this be Bob’s Eyes Wide Shut?

Well, to all those who have worried and fretted and are named Jeff, this is the answer.

Little Phatty is an analog MIDI synth with glowy blue knobs. I’m not entirely certain how you make analog MIDI, but I understand little enough about it that I can imagine such a thing.

Anyway, it is my sincere hope that Jeff will purchase and love this so much that he’ll give me his keyboard.

Not that I’ve ever heard Jeff use a keyboard for much more than either playing piano or a MIDI controller for something else. But I can hope.

chad’s reviews

March 29th, 2006


Chad used to review items on Amazon.com, but apparently the folks there got sick of reading reviews filled with references to Top Gun, Bud Ice and Kenny Loggins — hard to believe, but that’s OK, because Chad put up his own site filled with reviews. And what reviews they are:

I’m not even crapping you when I say that drinking a beverage out of these frickin’ glasses made me feel like I was off the charts when it comes to elegance. Seriously.

~jeff

arrested development still dead

March 28th, 2006


Sad but officially true; there will be no more episodes of “Arrested Development”, like, ever — but as long as Jason Bateman and Wil Arnett (a.k.a. Mr. Amy Poehler) continue to get work, I’ll be somewhat sated. As a half-assed memorial, please enjoy these borderline incomprehensible quotes from the now belated series.

~jeff

will self-destruct

March 26th, 2006


Let’s say you work for the city of Tuttle, OK, and your boss is kind of a jerk. You could use this nifty anonymous email service to tell him off without him ever knowing who you are. Instant creeping workplace paranoia! As a side note, Ben and I were just talking about starting a service like this last week; my idea for the logo was even somewhat similar. It’s eerie how similar ideas tend to propagate at the same time.

~jeff

jerry taylor is kind of a jerk

March 25th, 2006


One of the downsides of releasing software for free is that as a result, a lot of people also expect you to provide free email tech support for their weird problems. However, one of the benefits of releasing software for free is that you don’t actually have to help them. Having said that, I usually write people back as long as they are only slightly polite in their emails — and the people responsible for the linux distribution available at centos.org are clearly even nicer than I am, as they corresponded with professional jerk Jerry Taylor to troubleshoot his ISP’s unconfigured Apache installation far past the point when I would have told him “sorry about your luck”.

~jeff

scrambled hackz

March 24th, 2006


Holy God! You’ve got to see this. Sven König has created some of the coolest music software* I’ve seen in a while. Reminds me a lot of the album “Plexure” by John Oswald, except some of Sven’s output actually sounds somewhat listenable.

~jeff

* HINT: to make YouTube video watchable, click the white rectangle with a dot in it. That will remove the crudly embiggening and show the video at the original resolution it was meant to be shown in**.

** WARNING: Video may contain trace amounts of “You Can’t Touch This”.

let them eat pho

March 24th, 2006

Well, call me a silly falang, because this clueless gweilo can’t understand his own smelling-like-a-wet-dog-white-sister’s complaint:

Nail Salon

I find it very rude when I go into a nail salon and all the Chinese workers start speaking to each other in Chinese. If you come to our country, shouldn’t you be learning our language?

—Rhea, 22, white, Albany, NY

Funny thing is, when posed honestly (and not for rhetorical effect), Rhea’s question — and others like it — are really important to ask. And answer. Laurels to The National Forum On People’s Differences for creating a rather flame-free venue for cross-cultural exchange.

Well, Rhea, after realizing the woman massaging your foot is Vietnamese and not Chinese, maybe you could meditate on the apparent lack of an official pejorative for outsiders in Vietnamese. And then consider that, as has been said, Koľko rečí vieš, toľkokrát si človekom*. Sure, you can get by just fine with your monolingualism, but why settle for that? There is such a large menu of new languages for you to choose from… And the extra great thing about learning new languages? They almost all come with a tasty side of new cuisine! So go get you some pho, and chew this lesson over.
____

*For our non-Slovak speaking friends: “The number of languages you know is the number of times you are human.”

pre-pixelated clothes

March 24th, 2006

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Finally I can live the reality TV show lifestyle without the hassle and expense of having to spend time with Kevin Federline. These shirts are a really neat idea, but I’d like to warn you against actually buying one: wearing one of CafePress’ t-shirts feels like wearing a wicker hairshirt. Plus, they shrink like nuts. Much more comfortable are the offerings from any other t-shirt company — and especially ones that use American Apparel’s incredibly comfy t-shirts — but sadly, you’ll have to pixelate those yourself.

(Thanks to Kelsey Flynn for the link! Let’s have pizza!)

~jeff