PR NEWSWIRE 02/2006 — Not to be outdone by recent free downloadable network television programming from Apple, Yahoo, and Google, retail giant Radio Shack Corp. (RSH) announced today that they are offering free streaming network television to any and all North American customers using a push technology they are calling ‘antenna’.
“Our ‘antenna’, when positioned just right, will allow viewers to pick up a wide variety of network and local programming,” said Radio Shack CEO Leonard Roberts. “We can deliver hot new television shows such as ‘Lost’ and ‘Skating With Celebrities’ via wireless technology — and using the very same ‘coaxial’ connection that our customers are used to connecting to their cable modem and VoIP systems.”
Roberts went on to hint that in addition to just-in-time streaming delivery of live or near-live content, additional technology will be available to time-shift the streamed content using cheaply available archival backup tapes, with three levels of quality: LP, EP, or SEP. “And of course, all of this equipment will be branded under the ubiquitous and well-respected ‘Realistic’ brand name that our customers have come to associate with the very highest of high-tech consumer goods”, Roberts said.
As of press time, Radio Shack had not decided whether to use the smooth-fitting coaxial connection or the incredibly tedious screw-on kind, but sources close to the company offered that “they were leaning towards the tedious kind”. Additionally, Radio Shack is proud to announce that they have that weird button battery you need, and that RCA cables are now available in lengths of 3′, 6′ and 9.5′.