February 15th, 2006


U2 gets on my nerves, and it’s no secret that aside from a song or two — tops — Elvis Costello makes me want to maim. Coldly. Chillingly. Without logic. Without calculation. Without mercy. So why would I like this song? Aside from an ill-conceived bridge section, it’s so hopelessly derivative of those I mentioned, as well as many others that come to mind that I’m lukewarm at best over (Feelies, Long Winters, etc). I’d say it was like the chocolate-and-peanut-butter-together trip, but I like those components both as much if not more so alone. That’s certainly not the case with regard to the aforementioned ingredients.

Anyway, now my sweet tooth is acting up. And with the spoils of valentines day lying about, I’m off to get a treat. So while I inch my way closer to adult onset diabetes and all of its blissful complications that will, god willing, waltz me towards renal failure and eventually throw me from this mortal coil, take a minute to listen to this song and try to figure out why it has infected me so.

Not that I think I need to, but I’ll take this time to remind you that “Because you’re a pussy” isn’t really what I’m looking for.

3 Responses to “reese’s”

  1. Jeff says:

    MySpace makes me want to kill. Seriously, killkillkill veins in my teeth kill. I know it’s a half-generational thing that as a result I only half-understand, and if it was magically the year 1990 and I was an 16-year-old douchebag again, I’d have some bad Misfits-style punk rock auto-playing on my page in hopes of gaining the attention of hottiegirl34 or whoeverthehell girl I was uselessly mooning over back in my high school years.

    Never mind that the closest thing we had to MySpace in 1990 was user group BBSs and America Online at 2400 baud. No streaming audio. We had streaming ASCII art, though.

    It’s not a historically accurate analogy, I grant you.

    Having said that: I think the thing that’s throwing Jimmy is that although he has great capacity for music appreciation, this music is way off the map of what he normally enjoys. I know; he’ll send me unfathomably weird, near-unlistenable CDs of heavily processed drum and synth duos. And now this. It comes as a shock to all.

    But everyone has musical skeletons buried deep in their closet; I myself recently enjoyed a DVD of Zack Galafinakis pulled off which closed with his show being cancelled and then him throwing himself into a dumpster to the delicate strains of Edie Brickell’s “Circle”, which no doubt was chosen for the “nothin’s good enough for anybody else” line, but when placed in that context and potentated if you will by visuals of a large bearded man throwing himself away in a dumpster, gains a certain gravitas. And damned if I didn’t slap that shit on my iPod and happily walk around in my own private music bubble listening to it. Oh the unfathomable shame, I’m glad we can talk like this.

  2. jimmy says:

    31-year-old Douchebag,
    I don’t even know what a “MySpace” is. I happened upon the site in a “late night please don’t make me go to sleep and forfeit the last few hours of my day to wake up in the rekindled hell of tomorrow” google session with the aim of seeing if there were any cool bands out there worth checking out in this area. However, in the short time I spent perusing the material and randomly selecting links, though I don’t see myself using this as an electronic tome, a general reference, or to hone in on the next big thing (assuming I ever visit it again), I also didn’t see anything or feel any vibe that would make it so objectionable as you would describe.
    Regarding the actual song, I admit that though I listened to it three or four times last night, I couldn’t hum or whistle a lick of it right now. I could pick it out of a crowd, but the tune has left me. Just as well, I guess. It will give me more time to dig on Tim Berne’s “The Sevens”. But I think your analysis is off by just a smidge. I can step totally out of character and dig some real testicularly-challenged pop from time to time. Belle & Sebastian’s “If You’re Feeling Sinister”, Super Furry Animals’ “Rings Around the World”, Judas Priest’s “Sad Wings of Destiny” all come to mind.
    My question was more along the lines of liking a song that was so derivative of things that I hate. The answer I was looking for was that these guys are obviously magical life forms who may also possess the power to combine and thereby reverse the effects all of the other things in this world that I hate, and that I should track and capture them using their family and loved ones as bait and make them work for me under the serious threat of physical and psychological harm. And that I should take an eye or a finger just to show them I’m not fucking around.
    For Christ’s sake, it’s like I don’t even know you anymore.

  3. Joshua says:

    I think it reminds you of the Cure, and thereby the 16-year-old you.