Death by Caffeine

February 11th, 2006

This is your construction technique.
This is your construction technique caffeinated.

Caffeine has a significant effect on spiders, which is reflected in their web construction.

I thought this was a pretty complete database until I needed to find out if Squirt was caffeinated or decaf. According to the information posted on free public message boards — which are always dependable and accurate — the Ruby Red variety is charged-up, but the reg’lar kind is not.

I would have just checked the information on the side of the can, but it was in a recycling bin somewhere downtown.

And this just in: “In Canada, carbonated beverages other than cola are not caffeinated…. 7-up, Root Beer, Mountain Dew, etc. are caffeine-free.”

Finally, Carrie, please do not go and drink 68 shots of Sky Rocket Caffeinated Syrup.



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  • Carrie

    Good plan. I will also not be drinking 15 Starbucks Grande Coffees. Even one cup makes me feel like I’m at deaths door, with ADD and audial hallucinations.

  • tucker

    The caffeine content of Squirt becomes meaningless when you mix it with tequila to create one of the yummiest drinks to come out of Mexico, the Paloma.

    ~tgp

  • http://ldopa.net Jeff

    Sigh. I remember when I was drug-naive.

    In college I used to mix up “Mountain Beams” — that’s right, Jim Beam and Mountain Dew.

    God, that was awful.

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