why bee beards are tops
As a vital public service, I have generated and provided below a selection of things people may possibly be telling themselves to convince themselves to wear a bee beard.
- People will think I am very manly and awesome.
- Bees probably taste like honey if they accidentally end up in my mouth. Except for the stingy part.
- How can I show my undying loyalty to the Revolution?
- Swarming insects? On my face? That sting? What could be better!
- This is the only way I can quickly gain those long silky facelocks I desire.
- I want to be famous, but I’m not a good public speaker.
- I want prove my purity and devotion to G-d but snakes give me the heebie jeebies.
- I need to gain more useful skills.
- If I do this I can justify using the Quattro.
- Here are some bees. Here is my face. Wait … I have an idea.
Clearly further study is needed.
DARPA, I’m looking in your direction? Hmmmmm?
February 4th, 2006 at 1:05 am
I accidentally grew a Wasp Wig once. Actually, I had nothing to do with it. On my Hampshire pre-college trip a girl named Kelly stepped on a wasp nest. Out of the 10 of us, only two got stung. I got it about 15 times, all in my head. Can anyone blame me for spending my college years angry?
February 4th, 2006 at 2:23 pm
A couple more points I didn’t see on the list:
Better overall coverage for the patchy-faced among us.
Great misdirection for those worried society will begin to see that, despite your wife, you’re gay.
April 23rd, 2006 at 9:11 am
[...] And I always tell them, well, you and your friends have to make sure to write lots of essays about bee beards, hippos, and bears, and outrageous fortune will naturally follow. And then I say, that will be $5.73, please drive up. [...]
January 27th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
i grew a bee beard of 40000 bees. Luckily i didn’t get stung. It sort of tickled also =)