blue LEDs are better than anything

**BLUE LEDs ARE BETTER THAN ANYTHING**
*a one-act play*
*by Jeff Hobbs*

*(SCENE: a briefing room filled with reporters and a podium. On the right from behind a red curtain, JEFF enters the room, the MODERATOR nods, and JEFF takes the stage.)*

MODERATOR: Hello, please be seated. Mr. Hobbs will read a short prepared statement, then he will take questions from the press. I’ll pass the podium over to Mr. Hobbs.

JEFF: Good afternoon. *(rustles papers)*. Ahem. Blue LEDs are better than anything.

AUDIENCE: …

JEFF: I will now take your questions. Janice?

JANICE: Janice Fleur, Mount Washington Daily Press. When you said “Blue LEDs are better than anything”, isn’t it true that there are some things that blue LEDs are not better than?

JEFF: No comment. You, sir?

STEVE: Steve Walters, Chicago Military Reader. Have blue LEDs been found in Iran?

JEFF: No blue LEDs have been found in Iran. YET. Next question –

BILL: Bill Walters, New York Post. Are blue LEDs better than this nation’s growing unrest with troublesome domestic issues?

JEFF: *(takes mic off podium and walks into the audience)*.

JEFF: *(lays hand on Bill’s shoulder)*.

JEFF: Of course they are, Bill. Blue LEDs are better than anything.

BILL: What about –

JEFF: ANYTHING.

*(JEFF suddenly pulls a blue LED shoddily wired to a switch and a 9-volt battery from his pocket. He turns it on, and BILL and STEVE’S faces are illuminated by the high-tech blue glow. With the benefit of the soothing blue light, we see that they are, in fact, long-lost twin brothers — they stare at each other for a second, then they start making out. JANICE joins in)*.

JEFF: HOT. OK, no further questions. *(drops mic to ground with SFX: THUD and walks back behind red curtain)*.

FIN

~jeff

2 Responses to “blue LEDs are better than anything”

  1. Joshua Says:
    November 10th, 2005 at 1:45 pm

    You know, I have some blue LEDs in my basement. They don’t see a lot of use, frankly. Too blue.

    However, I’m kind of interested in having a blue, red, and green one to make a flashlight that can shine in any color. Hm.

  2. Dave Z Says:
    November 24th, 2005 at 9:15 am

    I may have discovered something close to even better than these so-called blue LEDs. This play is magnificent. No exclamation point needed. It is exaltingly exultative. I recognize that the play hinges upon the evenbetterestness of blue LEDs. I liken the play to Marvin Hagler….marvelous. Have any of the major productions studios optioned this? If they ain’t, they ought. (drops iBook to ground with SFX: THUD and walks back behind red curtain)

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