set sail for stupid
Ahoy! Today is Talk Like A Pirate Day, and if you see anyone actually doing this, shoe them right square in the nuts for me. Thanks in advance.
~jeff
Ahoy! Today is Talk Like A Pirate Day, and if you see anyone actually doing this, shoe them right square in the nuts for me. Thanks in advance.
~jeff
September 20th, 2005 at 10:31 pm
…does “Ahoy” count? I hope so, because I’ve been waiting for any reason to strike you fiercely in the groin since about ‘96. I’d even go out of my way to purchase some ill-fitting cowboy boots with the pointy toe to ensure that the sheer diamond-hard savagery of my attack had a chance to be as surgically precise as a clinical amputation. Probably not, though. I bring quite a load, but I’m not very coordinated. I’d probably just crush one and it would turn black and fall off in a couple of weeks… rolling around in your brittle, salve-crusted sack like a dislodged whistle pea until your body finally absorbs and consumes it. Oh,.. there’d be quite a bit of swelling left, and the area would be quite tender (like the area, say, between your scalp and the soles of your feet,.. generally refered to as “your body”, or more specifically, “Jeff”), but after a while, you’d learn to get by with the two that remained (rim-shot) (crickets) (contemplation) (gentle sobbing).
….or was that offer only good for Pirate Day?
September 21st, 2005 at 10:59 am
You’ll have to wait until next year to make your move; and by then, who knows how many testicles I’ll have.
September 21st, 2005 at 12:11 pm
…well, you’ll need them, because by this time next year I will be a fifth-level master of Sack Fu coming correct with my magical +4 Timberlands. That’s a 20-sided die for each teste, my friend. Roll for hit points, loser!
September 21st, 2005 at 12:55 pm
At last check, Jeff looked like he was carrying a bunch of grapes in his tighty whities.
… I guess that could just be where he keeps his grapes, though.