five blades, bitches

September 15th, 2005

suck it, schick

I enjoyed using the two-bladed Gillette Sensor.

So much so that I gladly made the jump to the triple-bladed Gillette Mach3, even though it cut so closely that it kind of carved up my face.

Then I even got one of those X-Box styled Mach3Power razors, with the slightly superfluous vibrator in the handle. People said it was suspicious that this battery-powered razor was introduced shortly after Gillette bought Duracell, but I remained devoted.

However, I don’t think I will be falling for* Gillette’s newest synergistic marketing endeavor: The Gillette Fusion. With five. fucking. blades. I guess the name “Fusion” tested better than “Suck It, Schick Quattro”; honestly, I think this is as far as we can go before we make the jump to 14 blades.

~jeff

* I totally will be falling for it

4 Responses to “five blades, bitches”

  1. Joshua says:

    Carrie and I had a little wager on whether you were going to go for the Schick Quattro. I didn’t think you were, as the styling was really too “me too” and swooshy, sort of the Aiwa boom box of the razor world. But this, this obviates the need for such a razor. Because, obviously, this one shaves 25% better!

  2. Joshua says:

    … and you are aware that it comes in a battery-powered wiggly version, right?

  3. NapoleonThe12th says:

    It’s been reported that following the exponential growth of blades, we should have an infinite bladed razor by 2015.